Learn the dance.. Live the dance.. Teach, talk and dance the dance!

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

Friday, December 9, 2011

Decision-making time

Once again, our family has to make a decision.  Well, Jon and I do.  The kids will be able to voice their wants, but ultimately, it will be Jon's decision.  We are supposed to leave here mid-March.  My kids are in 1st grade and pre-k here, but in the new state, they would have gone to 2nd and K (because of how late their birthdays are). 
So.. do we let them stay in school and make a rushed trip home before heading to Carson?  We will fly into NY to get my car and visit family, then make the 3 day drive to TX (and that is straight through with hardly any stops), and spend a couple of days visiting family and friends there before making the 2 day drive to CO.  We would have to rush to CO in order to get them registered during the last week of March (which is CO's spring break) so they could start up on 2 April.  They would have all of April and all of May to finish 1st and pre-k, unless they were bumped up into the higher grades due to their age.
Do we pull them now (since school ends next week for winter break), and homeschool them in the 2nd and K grades that they might get to go into in CO? 
Or do we homeschool them slowly (from January til August, or possibly just March-August) through 2 and K, and then let them enroll into 3rd and 1st in August 2012? 

This is all frustrating for me, because in spite of much praying and weighing pros and cons, nothing is clear.  And getting not-so-great reports from Jacob's teacher regarding his inability to focus, sit still, etc, doesn't really help. He is distracting his classmates by wiggling, crab walking, trying to sit on his head during carpet time, etc.  Each day he comes home with a not so good color (yellow, orange or red, the 1, 2, 3 strikes you're out basically), he doesn't get to play games at home (meaning the computer, his DSi, or the iPhone apps we let him play).  Which means that he only really plays games on weekends, and occasionally 1-2 days per week. 
And yes, before anyone thinks that I don't want the rules to apply to my kids.. I know that they need to be able to listen to other authority figures than just Jon and I.  For the most part, my children do not have a problem listening to other adults- as long as that adult has made clear the rules and that they will not get away with breaking them.  As for socialization, I don't really give a fig if someone thinks my children need to be around huge groups of kids their age in order to be well-rounded.  That's just dumb.  They get a better feel for how to deal with people of all types and ages by going places with Jon and I, paying rent, grocery shopping, being out in public at all, etc.  And they get plenty of time around other kids their age, as well as older and younger, by playing on the playground or seeing other homeschoolers.

All this stress over school isn't something I expected to feel.  I grew up thinking that when your kid turned 5, they went to school, and graduated around age 18, went to college, etc.  Knowing that most homeschoolers do better on tests than public school kids, though, and knowing that my kids don't conform to 'average' or 'normal', knowing that our day doesn't have to be 7 hours long to finish a day's work, being a military family that might be moving every couple of years, other things like that lean me towards homeschooling. 
But worrying about whether or not I will miss teaching them something important (like national holidays and their significance or how to read music, how to diagram sentences, proofreading, etc), or thinking about all the fun things that I got to do in school that they won't (choir, spelling bees, field trips with friends, etc) makes me want to suck it up and let them attend school.  On the other hand, I know that if we had a homeschool co-op, the kids would be able to attend most of those things I just listed.  We never really fit in at our last duty station, and there isn't a co-op here.  There are several families that HS, but half of them are about 20-30 minutes away, and the other ones have older kids.
Yes, its easier when its just Jamie and I at home- I accomplish more chores faster, but then sometimes, we really just sit around the house and play for a bit, watch a cartoon, play some more, read a book, eat, nap, and it feels so purpose-less (even though I know the one on one is great for Jamie).  There are always things that can be done around the house, but I admit, a good book distracts me pretty easily some days.  When I had the kids at home, we had a purpose, and a loose schedule to the way we did things.  I guess I miss the schedule- maybe I need to tweak the one I have now.. Ugh.. I don't know.

I don't know if its just being homesick, or stress about figuring this school stuff out, both, or maybe I am just depressed, but sometimes, I just want out.  I just want to be able to sit around and do nothing all day but read, have a good snack, or just do whatever I want for once, without 5 million intrusions.  I don't want to do that repeatedly, but man, once would be nice.  I feel like life and I haven't really 'clicked' lately.  I'm still interested in my activities, but I feel like I'm a shell sometimes. 
And this is a really long and rambling post, so I apologize if you were expecting to see my December Daily for the last couple of days.  I do have the pictures, but I ended up working on another project last night, and I'm about to hit the hay for tonight- I have an early start to make tomorrow. 

Anyhow.. if anyone made it to the end of this, pray for me, will ya?  I don't know what end is up anymore, and I'm starting to drag. 


abbydog1 said...
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Mclellans7 said...

I will be praying for your family and this big decision. Try to relax, take a deep breath, grab a pencil and make a good ol' pros/cons list. The whole family needs to add to the list. Which side is longer? In the end, when we let go of the stress and anxiety, we give God a chance to lead us in His direction. You know my thoughts on homeschooling...I'll keep my comment neutral, lol, but feel free to connect anytime to talk!