Learn the dance.. Live the dance.. Teach, talk and dance the dance!

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 1:4

Thursday, April 22, 2010


In case you couldn't tell, I think I'm hooked on Zumba!  I absolutely love this class.  I am only on my third class, but it has been a blast each time I've gone.  I think I'm going again tomorrow night, so long as Mom will watch the kids, at least...  :)  Basically, I found something that I can do without killing myself, its nearby, I have someone to watch the kids (thank you God, for that alone), and its not totally expensive.  Oh yeah, I should mention that its FUN, and its somewhere that I fit in. 

Now, I just need some prayer.  In the middle of class today, I was almost in tears, and I really couldn't even tell you why.  Although a big part of it was a piece of the routine that I wasn't comfortable doing, I could not shake it for a couple of minutes, and had to run to the bathroom to get control of myself.  I need the confidence in myself to keep going.  I KNOW all the reasons why I should take better care of the body God's given me.  I KNOW that I should be able to control the food that I eat.  I KNOW that I eat when I'm bored or stressed.  But that doesn't seem to be stopping me from indulging.  I have been alot more careful in recent weeks, but it seems like its a two-steps-forward, one-step-back kind of thing. 

And I'm ashamed to admit, but my temper hasn't been great.  Today I was extremely ashamed to admit that I was being selfish, spoiled and ridiculous, after I realized that I was snapping at my 8 month old son for crying while I was trying to watch my movie.  How dumb is that?  There was no excuse, no matter how stressed I was feeling due to things beyond my control, and partly due to how the other two kids were acting.  And I can't really believe that I'm posting this.  But maybe it will help someone realize that they aren't the only ones who struggle with their temper.  Or that you can be a Christian and still yell at your kids, spank their little butts when they need it, and cry because you failed miserably at keeping your own temper in check.  That's the good part about our God.  He knows we are gonna screw up.  That we are going to lose our cool and yell at our husbands, kids, friends, family or even strangers.  But He has already forgiven us. 
I have to choose, every day, to accept that love and grace, and try to let it pour out of me and into my family.  Its not easy, especially when part of your family is what seems like a million miles away. 

So tomorrow, when I have a cranky, teething baby that wants to be attached at the hip all day, or a 3 year old who pouts at anything and everything, and a 5 year old who doesn't want to do his schoolwork, I (hope) I will take a deep breath, pray really fast under my breath, and grab them all up for a hug.  Cause sometimes I think I need it more than they do!  And I'm not even going to think about what the Army can come up with for tomorrow!  :D